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Untitled Document

An Irreverent Look At Our Nations' Newspapers.


1. The *Wall Street Journal* is read by the people who run the country.

2. The *Washington Post* is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The *New York Times* is read by people who think they should run the
country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. *USA Today* is read by people who think they maybe ought to run the
country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do,
however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. *The Los Angeles Times* is read by people who wouldn't mind running the
country--if they could find the time--and if they didn't have to leave
Southern California to do it.

6. The *Boston Globe* is read by people whose ancestors used to run the
country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The *New York Daily News* is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat
on the train.

8. The *New York Post* is read by people who don't care who's running the
country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while
intoxicated.

9. The *Miami Herald* is read by people who are running another country but
need the baseball scores.

10. The *San Francisco Chronicle* is read by people who aren't sure anyone runs
the country, but if they find out who does, they oppose all of them. There are
occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist,
atheist, and also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy
provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The *National Enquirer* is read by people trapped in line at the grocery
store.

12. If you strongly agree or disagree with these descriptions, or want to add your hometown newspaper, drop us a line at Company@FranchiseHelp.com

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