The Top Franchise Opportunities for Each Cast Member of The Simpsons
The Simpsons is the most successful, funniest, longest running television series in modern history.
That’s not an opinion, that’s a fact.
The show has won all the awards, become a billion dollar merchandising and licensing empire, gotten the catchphrase d’oh adopted into the dictionary, and influenced multiple generations of other animated programs.
And since there have been nearly seven hundred episodes over thirty years, it’s no surprise just how many plots have centered around career opportunities. Which begs the question:
What would their career opportunities look like in real life for the characters?
Considering just how enterprising and entrepreneurial Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa are, entering into the franchise space isn’t out of the realm of possibility.
Based on their work history and personality, we’ve broken down the franchises that various Simpsons characters might try to invest in if given the opportunity.
Homer Simpson -- The Joke of All Trades
Homer has worked more jobs than any other character on the show (188 according to the Simpsons Wiki.) In addition to his primary career as a neglectful power plant safety operator, he’s also dipped his toes in a variety of professional waters, including a sports mascot, astronaut, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, quickie mart cashier, country music manager, fortune cookie writer and missionary.
Even if those jobs only lasted for an episode at a time, he’s still learned more about business than your average person.
Homer’s low hanging fruit for franchise opportunities would undoubtedly be in the beer industry. Being a lifelong Duff fan (Fudd Beer is for those jerks in Shelbyville!) he has both the experiential knowledge and technical insight to understand and satisfy the modern beer drinker’s needs.
What’s more, Homer also has retail experience, having worked the overnight shift at Apu’s Kwik-E-Mart for a short stint. This makes him an ideal candidate for a great franchise opportunity called Brew Thru. Offering a combination of quick pickups and convenient service, Brew Thru provides easy options to legally purchase alcohol, snacks, souvenir merchandise, apparel and other local collectibles.
Who wouldn’t want to drive through the store where Homer Simpson could help them pick out the perfect six pack, goofy hat and bag of chips for their next barbecue? Poochie would dig it, for sure.
I’m reminded of season eight during Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment. Springfield enacts prohibition after a raucous Saint Patrick's Day celebration. To supply his local speakeasy, Homer becomes a bootlegger, and during a public toast, offers a priceless insight about the industry:
“To alcohol, the cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.”
Therefore, he would need managerial accountability. Franchisors would have to keep this franchisee in check as to not overuse his own product. We recommend they offer a hotline that Homer could call for support on employee issues, insurance requirements and apprehending fake ids of misbehaving slack jawed yokels.
Marge Simpson -- The Ambitious Dual Citizen
Marge is no career slouch. In addition to raising three children under the age of ten and keeping their household from falling apart many times, this mom has pursued numerous business ventures. She was a pretzel wagon owner, police officer, trade show model, bodybuilder, real estate agent, chef at an erotic bakery, and of course, worked side by side with her hubby at the power plant.
Because of Marge’s extensive managerial experience with a chaotic, multigenerational family, (kids, husband, siblings, elders, animals, relatives, etc) she is clearly a master of keeping a system with lots of moving parts in order. This is a top skill of small business owners, regardless of industry.
Since a quarter of startup businesses fail within their first year, half of the remaining fail within five years, and approximately thirty percent of the remaining last ten years, Marge is poised to excel as a manager and leader. She is the perfect candidate for a franchise that is committed to bringing affordable, quality services to all of its customers in a safe environment.
Our recommendation is that Marge should invest in Well Health and Chiropractic. Their business model is the first of its kind. Franchisees have incredibly unique opportunities to educate their communities about health while simultaneously delivering highly skilled adjustments and affordable, convenient chiropractic care. Marge knows a thing or two about neck and back pain, having worked as a police officer, having been married to Homer, and having to reprimand Bart for twenty two minutes each Sunday.
With support from her franchisors at Well Health, she won’t have to spend time recreating the wheel. Marge will be able to easily execute proven marketing strategies that turn into consistent patient acquisition and awareness building for her franchise.
Remember, Marge donned the famous red blazer under the tutelage of legendary mentor Lionel Hutz. She sold the impossible to sell houses in the hyper competitive Springfield real estate market. There’s no doubt she would excel at straightening out people’s spines as well.
In one of their annual Treehouse of Horror Halloween Specials, Marge summarized her personality and skill set aptly in this pre episode disclaimer:
“Hello, everyone. You know, Halloween is a very strange holiday. Personally, I don’t understand it. Kids worshipping ghosts, pretending to be devils. Things on television that are completely inappropriate for young viewers. Nothing seems to bother my kids, but tonight’s show, which I totally wash my hands of, is really scary. So if you have sensitive children, maybe you should tuck them in early tonight instead of writing us angry letters tomorrow. Thanks for your attention.”
That sounds like the kind of thoughtful, safe and responsible person you want taking care of your family’s cranial spinal needs.
Bart Simpson -- The Underachieving Opportunist
Despite his reputation as a trouble making slacker, Bart is maybe the most opportunistic of all the characters on the show. Having somehow remained ten years old for the past three decades, Bart has built quite the resume. He’s worked as a tent revival preacher, golf ball collector at the local country club, an assistant to a television clown, a television star himself, and of course, an illegal cable hook up youth programming impresario.
But let’s not deny the obvious. Bart is mischievous, rebellious and disrespectful of authority. He vandalizes public property, makes prank calls to the local pub, curses inappropriately, and pulls his pants down while somehow managing to write controversial political slogans on his own butt.
A personality like this is going to be a challenge for any growing franchise. Can you imagine having to be one of Bart Simpson’s managers? What about one of his coworkers? Employee turnover would skyrocket within thirty days.
Therefore, the key to Bart’s success in the franchising industry will be focusing on his strengths, which are communication, community organizing, creativity, daredevil bravery and the ability to convince people to do things they would otherwise be terrified to do. He would fit best as more of a figurehead and spokesperson, rather than a typical owner operator.
Bart should look no farther than Sky Zone. First on the scene and best in its class, Sky Zone created the world’s first wall to wall trampoline park in 2004, bringing healthy, high flying fun to people across the globe. Bart, who worked as an actual daredevil himself, is the perfect candidate to promote the intersections of fitness, entertainment, and interactive technology.
It reminds me of a classic episode from season two where Bart attempted to jump Springfield Gorge on his skateboard. Famous daredevil and his hero, Lance Murdoch, told Bart something he would never forget:
“Bones heal, chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is forever.”
If your ten year old son is scared of doing triple flips on a trampoline, Bart will be the inspiring, relatable franchisee who will help inspire your child’s confidence to reach soaring heights.
Don’t worry, everyone that enters the Sky Zone court or activity zone must have completed and signed a valid Sky Zone waiver. Those under eighteen must have it signed/completed by their parent, legal guardian, or someone with power of attorney.
Lisa Simpson -- The Overachieving Genius
Last but not least, the moral center of the family, Lisa Simpson. Her independence, gumption and high IQ have enabled a multitude of career opportunities, even at the young age of eight. She’s performed her saxophone at various Springfield events, invented a children’s toy called Lisa Lionheart to positively influence young girls, and even became the first female president. Not to mention helped Steve Jobs with a super secret project back in the day.
As Springfield’s most notable Buddhist, it’s important that Lisa’s career path is one where her environmental, spiritual and dietary values can be upheld with grace and honor. This is going to be tough to square with the economic model of our great country. According to one episode:
“America is the land of opportunity where machinery of capitalism is being oiled with the blood of the workers.”
For that reason, our suggestion to Lisa Simpson is to invest in the vegan Franchise LuvBurger. They have worked for years mastering recipes, combining ingredients and production processes to allow others to operate and own their own LuvBurger restaurant. Lisa could get behind their vision, which is to create a sustainable network of fast, healthy, healing plant based restaurants for the whole world to enjoy.
As Lisa is the only person on The Simpsons brave enough to bring gazpacho to a barbecue, she’s the kind of entrepreneurial minded individual who could help revolutionize the fast food industry.
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Ultimately, there are plenty of franchise opportunities for the members of everyone’s favorite cartoon family. Combining their work experience and personality, there’s no doubt that Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa would make ideal franchisees for growing businesses.
P.S. Maggie Simpson, who has been one year old since 1987, was unavailable for comment at this time. But our hunch is that she’d probably collaborate with Santa’s Little Helper and open a PetWell franchise.
Scott Ginsberg is Head of Content at FranchiseHelp. He knows more about The Simpsons than his own family.
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